There is a phenomena that occurs when I try to do more than one thing at once. A second person emerges. It is automatic, like breathing. This is default Cara.
How can I not be of service?
Driving and talking on the phone. Often I opt to become more aware of the road than what the person on the other end is saying. The opposite happens too, and I find myself in the next town. However, the road is not paying attention to me under any circumstances, so for the sake of argument, this scenario works best when I stop giving the person on the other end the time of day. Except. I don't know I am doing it. Until I say something lame in response to their conversation.
Q "How are you today?"
A "I'm doing great."
Q "This drunk lady almost hit me today on the freeway!"
A" That's excellent!" (pleasant, vacant voice)
The conversation goes downhill from there, as I struggle to find out what I missed while I was looking for my exit.
I know, the anti-"car + cell-phone" peeps will be all over my ass for this post. NOTICE: You would be missing the point.
I had to actually tell someone about "default Cara" today, I was accidentally so rude at table. If people are talking around me, I cannot focus on the conversation I'm having for very long. Anyway, she graciously told me she liked default Cara just fine, not to worry. Ha! How awesome.
My husband has gotten used to it, but obviously would rather have me than my "default" self. When I get like that, all glassy eyed, faux smile and noddy-noddy, he says ,"Cara, can I have your attention, please? I'd like to finish my story," very patiently. I turn to look at him, guilty as charged, thinking my high school English teach was much easier to fool, dammit. God, I love him.
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